Posts are few and far between. I think with 30 approaching quickly, its time to stop and put this blog to rest. This is full of memories from my youth, stupidity from when I was younger and thought I knew what was going on; reading back on old posts was hilarious and sad. 

But. I am ready to get older, and move on from the past. I have so much to look forward to:

My degree.
We're looking in to buying a house.
I have two wonderful step-kids.
Life is hard but good. 

linktr.ee/essential__lane

I was accepted in to the Bachelor's of Social Work program, online studies. I'm scared, but am so excited to learn more about the field that I am so passionate about.

Life is changing drastically, I am loving things that I never knew I wanted for my life; I'm nervous for what these next few years are going to bring, but I have a feeling its going to be worth it.

Tomorrow marks the start of my last year in my twenties, im ready.

I had no actual intention of ever coming back on here, writing about my life; but I found myself sitting here attempting to study for a test, thinking about my past and how far I have come these past eight months.

I'm happy, genuinely happy and I need to write about it- I don't care if anybody sees it.

I went to a therapist for what I thought was becasue of how I was feeling after a tragic occurence at work; turns out, it was my own life that I was struggling with, the incident just sent me over my edge. It was the hardest thing I have done, I had a panic attack before my first session.

I decided that I was finally ready to go back to school; of course I was to late to apply for the program I wanted so I opted for general studies for now. I've applied for the program now, but I won't know until June/ July to see whether this past seven months was for anything.  fingers crossed.

I made my first New Years resolution; to be happy, to not dwell, and to see the positive in things. Something is working.

The past  month has been a whirlwind of emotions, but I'm not quite ready to talk about that. 

Since its been a while, I think I need to post the fact that I rid myself of [him]; back in February.

All I am going to say is that I have never felt so free.


I am not moving out west with my roommate; we decided to stay. Not so sure what is next for me, or why I even post in here anymore. Maybe I should start fresh, make a blog that isn't all about the douche that consumed my life for so fucking long.

my roomate and I are talking about moving out west in about 7 months; i need this.

but i cant help but cry, knowing that this means things will be over again. i won't let it stop me, if everything works out with my roomate, im going.


found out my mom has cheated on my dad, more than once. i never thought that i would care because i know how unhappy she is and that she cant leave... but i have all of these emotions [sad, hurt, mind boggled/not] that are going on. i think she needs to tell him, but that isn't my place.