Life as it is.

 

So i guess this is what a blog is.
Am i just writing this to myself? Or are there people out there who actually read these things?
Either way I guess, it doesn't really matter. It can be my diary... so i will start fresh, with life as it is.

Lately, i don't really know what to think about anything.
I wish i could just move away, get out of this town. Make a fresh start and meet new people.

I feel like I have nobody to turn too lately, that everybody is just slipping out of my life, one by one.
I went from having the most fantastic best friend in the world along with a select few that were my "favourites/ other best friends" too not even knowing anymore.

My old (i guess is what we'll call it) best friend (Sarah)and I are coming out of our patch where we didn't speak for 2 months, and its weird. Who would ever think that not speaking to somebody who was your best friend for 17 years would be weird? I went to her house for the first time in months tonight, and it was horrible. It was awkward and i felt so much hostility from her family. I balled my eyes out, as soon as we got into her room. I hated every minute of it, i felt like such a baby for crying about that, But i just couldn't help it. I hope it won't be weird like that forever.

Jess, i love her to death. Though lately, i feel like im being replaced by 15 year olds (literally). i feel like we are just not as close as we use to be. I blame going to school together, we have every class together and don't spend any time being 'friends' outside of school anymore, I mean seeing each other all the time really makes us get at eachothers throats, but i still hate it! I don't like not having her there to talk about anything too.

Steve, I hate not having him around. It's been about a year and a half since he left me to go to school...and i just wish that I could talk to him more. But i barely talk to him at all, i'm not really a phone person and i cannot afford to go and visit him. He told me that he is staying in Kingston, that hit me hard. I wish he could just come home, but saying that, im completely 100% there for him and so proud that he is living his dream...so i guess I really can't complain. I just miss him.

Andrea, she moved 5 hours away from me. I hate it. She comes home in 10 days though, for thanksgiving...im stoked! Its only been a month since she left, i don't know how im going to last 4 years of seeing her once every couple months while she is at university. I miss her.

 

I feel like im not happy with anything lately, im so stressed with everything!
Going to school full time and working pretty much full time hours. I can't handle it...im talking to the 'boss' tomorrow, hopefully something can be done.