ball of emotion.

im rather sick of you making jokes out of a conversation that i thought was so serious.
i put it all out there, i told you that i was worried about you and your 'habits'; and you...you told me that you would try. bullshit. not drinking because your on call doesn't count as trying, its called you cant drink and drive (atleast your smart that way), and you are so miserable when you cant have a few. bahhh, im just miserable tonight.

somedays i just want to be out of here now, no matter how scared i am...its going to be the time of my life. i just wish that somebody would ask about everything, how im feeling about leaving everybody behind, instead of the yelling about "how can you afford this" or "i dont want to talk about it, because im mad and upset". im just a huge ball of emotion lately;

i hate my job.
i hate the drama.
i hate that i feel like i cant talk to anybody (because im afraid to)
&im terrified of what my life is going to bring.