sometimes, i dont know whats really going on with me. one day i will be happy and in love with the world and the next i am completely down- its been happening a lot more lately, so it seems.

today is one of those days, i am doubting every single person that is in my life- wondering if they are meant to be here or if someday they'll just get tired of my issues or my actions and drop. i feel like im bitter towards people because of different things that they have...things that i want; i cant explain it because at the same time i am genuinely happy for them- i just want it too.

i really do try to be happy, somedays it just gets the best of me though. i dont even have reasons for breaking down and crying- i guess its just everything all bundled up into one; thoughts, feelings, the past, the future, insecurities and also people just not knowing that there is anything wrong at all. itd be nice once in a while to be told that im pretty, a good friend, a good listener, an amazing person, that im worth something.

maybe someday.