and we'll be jolly friends *

i havent really posted anything in a while; i guess its probably because its just the same emotions running over and over in my head- nothing has changed.

gotten into quite a few emotional chats the past few weeks with people that i would have never expected to be able to; im not one to talk about my problems because i feel like there is more important stuff out there. one friend made a really good point to me- and that is that i dont trust people because ive never really had anybody there to trust; i have a stable family, yes (mom and dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles), but nobody has ever been there to talk about how your feeling or whats going on; in a serious manner anyway. i am the complete opposite of that; when i have my own family someday, ill make sure im there, ill talk about everything and make it clear that anything can be broughten to me.

nanny is doing pretty good, maybe as good as she will get. i love her to death, she is my entire heart; she was the one that was there when i was growing up (not that mom wasnt- but more so her/ i was the first grandchild). my early memories are with her, and only her- taking boat rides in her big boat to everywhere, riding around in her red convertable with my curly hair flying everywhere, spring cleaning at her house (because i loved it), the big pool (learning how to swim), staying at the cottage with her for almost an entire summer while her new house was getting built, and sitting on her counter top sorting all of her buttons out(she had a lot) while she was folding laundry and singing; "see see my playmate, come out and play with me, and bring your dollies three, climb up my apple tree. slide down my rain barrel, into my cellar door, and we'll be jolly friends for ever more, more, more, more, more." -i think thats my next tattoo idea; not the entire song, but just the end "and we'll be jolly friends, forever more" with nanny written on it and a button incoorporated into it.