so I've come to the conclusion that I was just addicted to that whole casual relationship that lasted over a year. I knew I never wanted anything from it, but I have been severely addicted to this guy and I'm going through withdrawal; i loved being wanted. I've been trying to stop, and have been doing good, until I get drunk. I literally wake up in the morning and congratulate myself for not messaging him...look at my messages, I did just the opposite. I'll get over this rut. I don't know how much longer I can decline the invitations though. wish me luck.