i dont understand why this has to happen now, or at all.
but especially when im halfway across the world and have no means of getting home to be there for you. i want to be home with you right now, because i cant stand just sitting here wondering whats going on in the hospital and trying so hard to patiently wait. i dont ever have faith in anything, or pray or such like that because ive never believed but i dont know how else to wish that you will just be okay. nanny, i love you so much!