i came on here actually having something to write, and now im drawing a blank.

i dont have a clue as to where this is going; this entry, or everything in general.

nan (the dreadful one) is being childish again. it really has nothing to do with me, only my parents, but i cant help but feel like i dont want somebody like that in my life. at all. its gotten to old, and im fed up with it. i dont feel as though im capable of dealing with it anymore, ive told her how i feel countless times and what her actions have done to me and this family, but she just doesnt seem to get it. i have to much to worry about, so i guess we'll just see where this ends up going to.

im exhausted, im working myself a little to hard- but i only have six shifts left at my other job, so i should be good after that. i love these kids here, but as i think ive said before- i didnt sign on to be a nurse, so im not going to do that.

im handing in my application to be a big sister tomorrow, im really hoping that something can work out. ive wanted to do this for a while, but am now just finding the time.

nanny goes back to kingston on wednsday (as long as she doesnt get pushed back again); im terrified.


'sometimes the greatest rewards in life come from doing the things that scare you the most' -one tree hill