i dont know whats going on with me lately, but the other day i was driving to pick up nanny for her doctors appointment and i started balling. it got so bad that i had to pull over (thankfully nobody was with me)! i thought i was okay and had come to terms with everything that has happened in this past year, i mean in ways i have, but sometimes i just get to thinking about everything and all that has happened. I couldn't help but focus my mind on being back in Germany and everything I did in that short period of time, how amazing it was and the learning experience i got from it. Most of all though, i was focusing on (and i dont know why) crying myself to sleep everynight for two weeks because i didn't know what was going on with the hospitals and everything, or phoning mom and her telling me that the doctors said nanny wasnt going to wake up- and mere hours later, anja and ingolf calling me downstairs to tell me that its best if i went home and was with family...calling mom to tell her and not getting an answer, having to phone lynn while im balling my eyes out to try and get a hold of her.
- i dont know why im telling whoever reads this now (considering its been 5months), i guess its just been on my mind a lot.