ever notice that when i actually have something to say that i babble? in life and in here, im not to sure why...but ive read posts where im actually upset/angry/ happy etc. where nothing actually makes sense. its the pointless posts like this paragraph that make sense because really im not really trying to explain anything. ill try and get better at that.

having 'monster' here everynight for the past couple weeks really makes me want a little kid in my life- not anytime soon, no worries. i was always undecided whether or not someday i would want kids, it was never a big deal for me; i love kids, but i was never sure if it was for me. im pretty sure now that someday it will.

i know that most of the time we have big differences, and i dont like you the majority of it...but i dont like too see you this way. i love you, of course and i dont like to see people treating you this way- even though a lot of the time it can be me. im sorry for that, i just have a hard time showing my feelings of your actions positively (no excuses). i just wish that you would put as much effort into this family as you do your work.