its been a weird month, and this year has gone by way to fast for my liking. i still cant believe that ive been back for six months, i miss it- everyday. Life has definately had its crazy turn of events these past twelve months...

i decide that im leaving the country for an entire year, to get out of this town that i always thought was so shitty, but came back appreciating everything a lot more. Germany, Austria, Holland; places that i never, ever seen myself even interested i going- but after, am so happy that i was able to experience these brand new worlds.

nanny getting sick, which still brings tears to my eyes when people talk about it. it taught me that life is un-plannable (if thats a word) ...you cant count on tomorrow being there, because you never know if it fully will be.

giving people chances and getting fucked over once again, its hard, but i know that i can move on because clearly you were just not meant to be a grandmother.

trying to get over the way you are, thinking that maybe it was possible- but you ruined that just now. i thought i could accept you for your ways, but you coming upstairs right now and trying to place blame on us for the littlest thing (even though both are innocent) makes me so mad you dont understand, put a little trust in us. asshole.

settling differences with people, which i never thought was possible. people that were a huge part of my life, people who things got broken down with. weirdly though, you grow up- and you realize that these people once meant somthing for good reason, and that its stupid to be bitter.