im not free anymore.

im so in to him again and i don't know how ill get away this time, it took forever last time- actually i don't think i ever got away. clearly, with the way he just pulled me in again.

i've told him how i feel this time (which i never did in the three years prior); it didn't scare him away, but i also think i can never expect anything from him- i think we are too different. regardless of that though, ill always want him... and i know that deep down, there is a part of him that wants me too. he's acting so jealous, always thinking I'm with another man lately- regularly asking me if i am and prying/ not believing me when i tell him I'm not.

he told me that he care, that he always has and that it was never just fucking. i felt on top of the world when i read that.

i went over there the other night, and it was just to cuddle- it was nice, and I've never been one that is in to cuddling. all of a sudden though, thats all I'm craving; i don't care about the sex anymore- i just want to be beside him.

why me? why him? why did we have to fall in to something that neither of us were prepared to feel?