Today is just one of those days; where i prefer to just sit here and pretend that nothing and nobody exists. im physically and emotionally drained, i cant sleep at night but i pretend to be happy and strong for everybody else's sake. im not strong at all. i dont want to look for a job because i dont want to come to terms with the fact that i came home from my year away because the only grandparent that has always been there and loved me always is sick, and will probably never be the same person again. i don't know how to handle it, but i sure as hell cant talk to anybody...that would make me weak.